Remember when you and your husband would go out dancing all night, get breakfast at 3 A.M., and then sleep all day? It’s probably been years since that happened. It’s easy to keep a marriage passionate and interesting when there’s only two people in the equation. Once there are kids in the picture, things get a lot more difficult. These tricks will help you look at your spouse with the same love and attraction that you did before you had kids.
Don’t call each other Mom and Dad
So many parents call each other “Mom” and “Dad” in front of kids. Stop that! It’s good for your kids to know that you have other roles in life besides being parents. Additionally, once you start calling your spouse Mom or Dad, it’s harder to think of them in a romantic light. Use your names or pet names—anything other than Mom and Dad!
Enjoy old hobbies
After having kids, most people’s hobbies go to the wayside. Whether your hobbies are drawing, skateboarding, making music, dancing, or anything else, rejuvenate your interest in them! When you and your spouse both have things you are interested in, you hold onto who you are outside of your role as a parent. This makes you happier with yourself, and it makes it much easier to be happy in your marriage. Let each other take the occasional weekend day off to go shopping, golfing, or anything else that catches your interest. You’ll have more to talk about and more to be excited about.
Kissing and other forms of physical affection tend to decrease dramatically after kids enter the picture. Some parents feel that kissing in front of kids is inappropriate or unnecessary. However, kissing is great for you. It boosts your endorphins and gives you a surge of love for your partner. Next time one of you is leaving for work, don’t give a peck on the lips. Slow down and get a real kiss. As opposed to being inappropriate for kids, it’s good for children to see their parents being affectionate. It sets a good example for their future marriages.
Show affection in new ways
Now that kids are in the picture, there are new ways for you and your spouse to show that you appreciate and love each other. Has your husband been working 12- hour days all week? Pack the kids up Saturday morning, go out and get donuts, and let them watch cartoons while he sleeps in. Is your wife burnt out from being with the baby every day? Send her on a trip to the mall with her best friend.
Date nights, and lots of them, are very important for your marriage. If you have other friends with kids, you can even trade babysitting nights so you don’t have to spend money on a babysitter. Try new restaurants, go out dancing, and revel in being alone. Not only will you appreciate your partner even more, by the time you get home, you’ll appreciate your kids more after missing them all night.