27 Awesomely Funny Seinfeld Quotes

During its nine-year reign on NBC, Seinfeld quite rightly became one hugely successful and popular TV show. These 27 Seinfeld quotes give you an indication as to why.

I don’t like when a woman says, ‘Make love to me’, it’s intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her.

George

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Ya know, there are tribes in Indonesia where if you keep your coat on in somebody’s house, the families go to war!

George

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It pains me to say this, but I may be getting too mature for details.

Jerry

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You should’ve seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.

George

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They don’t have a decent piece of fruit at the supermarket. The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry… I don’t know what’s going on with the papayas!

Kramer

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Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.

George

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There’s nothing more sophisticated than diddling the maid and then chewing some gum.

Elaine

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You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.’

Jerry

[hr]

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You’re through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!

Elaine

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I hate asking for change. They always make a face. It’s like asking them to donate a kidney.

George

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You know what they say, ‘You don’t sell the steak, you sell the sizzle.’

Kramer

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I’ve never heard of a relationship being affected by punctuation.

Jerry

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I think she finds my stupidity charming.

George

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What could possess anyone to throw a party? I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room.

Jerry

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The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since one-hour martinizing.

Kramer

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I’m grotesque. I look like a troll.

George

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You could drape yourself in velvet for all I care.

Paula

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So, tell me, how is it that a man like you, so bald and so quirky and funny… how is it you’re not taken?

Marisa Tomei

[hr]

You could be the first pirate comedian.

Bryant Gumbel

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